Anger Management

As a part of our Nmami Life wellness series, we assure you to bring the best of health & wellness experts to help you gain the maximum wellness. Our sole motto is to bridge the gap of awareness when it comes to your health & wellbeing.

Guest of the week: Benaisha Kharas Dongre

“You make an impression when you have created a brand of yourself and the best way to create this brand is with your image.”

Benaisha Kharas is an Image Enhancer, Inspirational Speaker, and Fashion Style Expert.

She is passionate about helping her clients project an influential, charismatic, and stylish image in their personal and professional lives. She is the absolute expert in the art and science of personal style and image management. In fact, she is the“go-to Image Builder” for women, young adults, corporates, and fashion houses. At IMPA (Image Management Professionals Association), Benaisha is the only youngest Senior Image consultant to facilitate expert classes across India. Fashion Magnet Anita Dongre highly endorses Benaisha’s expertise and has got her entire sales staff sell fashion and luxury, ‘The Benaisha Way’.

She is India’s youngest internationally certified Image Consultant since 2012, Benaisha has inspired and trained more than 2000 people to be Style, Image, and Fashion Conscious.

She has provided personal consulting to more than 250 HNI clients to present themselves with more poise and polish. Being dyslexic, yet incredibly popular in the media; Benaisha does not let her obstacles come in the way of her dreams. At the tender age of 10 when her teachers told her to go to a special school, she chose to become her own hero and fight for her dreams. She graduated with double majors in sociology and entrepreneurship. After receiving a standing ovation for her TedxTalk, she again inspired thousands at ‘Kaggaz’, a forum for the youth and shared her vision of India’s Young Image. Education Times invited Benaisha to speak and motivate their audience on image and career. Gulf Times has appreciated her work done with Qatar Airways and Indian Women’s Association of Doha. Benaisha also made her presence felt on India’s first image management TV show ‘Image Banani Hein’ on Zoom TV.

Benaisha helps her clients on colour, style, wardrobe editing, personal shopping and dressing for those tricky events like weddings, interviews and dating. She also advises fashion houses on creating delightful customer experiences, artistically sell fashion and luxury, and effortlessly convert walk-ins into shoppers. Corporate Clients like BMW, Qatar Airways, Deloitte, Jeena & Co, and many more count on Benaisha for transforming their executives to be their Brand Ambassadors with strong communication, personal image and influence skills. She is deeply interested in working with differently-abled children to inspire them to lead meaningful lives. She has also helped children who suffer from attention deficit disorder, hyperactivity, and down syndrome to regain their confidence and enhance their self-image.

Benaisha, an avid lover of books, travel, and fashion, lives in Mumbai, India.

Excerpts from the Session

You can also watch the entire session video here:

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CHXvQRLHIST/?igshid=1n2jqxre4gtt5

But, for those who like to read or keep a note of the expert’s opinion, we bring the entire excerpt of the session so that you don’t miss out on anything. Here are the points that were covered in the live session:

Anger Management

Choices made in anger cannot be undone. 

• Think before you speak. 

Many moments cause you anger, frustration, or make you think why did this happen to me. But, know that it is done. And once it is done there are very few things that can be reversed. If you think before you speak, you can save a lot of relationships, keep your blood pressure in check, and let yourself understand the situation from a very different perspective. These are the moments that define you. 

• Once you are calm, then express how you feel. 

Gently, compassionately, but yet assertively tell the other person how you felt when something was done at their part. So start your sentences like, “I feel like ___ when you did___, or when ___happened.” By taking the ownership of how you feel, you will be able to bring in a lot more clarity to the conversation. Express how you feel, instead of telling them what they could have done better. 

• Identify possible solutions. 

Instead of lashing out on the other person, brooding about their mistakes, and holding grudges, identify the possible solutions.  This will help you feel calmer, to understand better and to rationalise how you can take things forward. 

• Stick with the I’ statements. 

Say “I feel like__”, instead of saying “you make me feel like__.”  This is necessary to take the ownership of you being in the act too. Anger is also related to expectations. So if you have expectations, you need to analyse if they were necessary, or if they make you a part and parcel of that anger too, or if you are responsible for your anger too? Hence, take ownership. 

• Don’t hold a grudge. 

If you hold grudges, your relationships are going to be way weaker than what you think. They are like stones on a smooth, concrete pathway, which you might not be able to see when you are driving past, but can potentially give you a flat tyre. Moreover, irrespective of you driving or not, they still do not give you a smooth pathway. So, do not hold grudges. 

• Be assertive. 

It is very important in your communication to be assertive. Understand what is it that you are really angry about, what is the damage that’s caused to you, what are the threats that are coming out which is why you are lashing in anger, and thereafter is there any solution that you can give to the situation. To prevent all of these things, have a language of command. When you are assertive, you talk in a very adult-to-adult tone, requesting a response. You need to be loud, just crystal clear on things. Club this with, 

• Check your communication. 

The way of communication is very, very important because it determines how we talk to people and how we express ourselves. So, the choice of words, the tone, when you say things, and how you say it, is vital. 

Footnote.

Instead of getting angry, take your time, understand and then communicate. Try to not hold grudges as they can do more harm to your relationship than what you can fathom and communicate politely with assertiveness in your tone. Follow these seven insightful steps for managing your anger better.