Mind Over Matter- Expect The Unexpected With Beniasha Kharas Dongre

As a part of our Nmami Life wellness series, we assure you to bring the best of health & wellness experts to help you gain the maximum wellness. Our sole motto is to bridge the gap of awareness when it comes to your health & wellbeing.

Guest of the week: Benaisha Kharas Dongre

“You make an impression when you have created a brand of yourself and the best way to create this brand is with your image.”

Benaisha Kharas is an Image Enhancer, Inspirational Speaker, and Fashion Style Expert.

She is passionate about helping her clients project an influential, charismatic, and stylish image in their personal and professional lives. She is the absolute expert in the art and science of personal style and image management. In fact, she is the“go-to Image Builder” for women, young adults, corporates, and fashion houses. At IMPA (Image Management Professionals Association), Benaisha is the only youngest Senior Image consultant to facilitate expert classes across India. Fashion Magnet Anita Dongre highly endorses Benaisha’s expertise and has got her entire sales staff sell fashion and luxury, ‘The Benaisha Way’.

She is India’s youngest internationally certified Image Consultant since 2012, Benaisha has inspired and trained more than 2000 people to be Style, Image, and Fashion Conscious.

She has provided personal consulting to more than 250 HNI clients to present themselves with more poise and polish. Being dyslexic, yet incredibly popular in the media; Benaisha does not let her obstacles come in the way of her dreams. At the tender age of 10 when her teachers told her to go to a special school, she chose to become her own hero and fight for her dreams. She graduated with double majors in sociology and entrepreneurship. After receiving a standing ovation for her TedxTalk, she again inspired thousands at ‘Kaggaz’, a forum for the youth and shared her vision of India’s Young Image. Education Times invited Benaisha to speak and motivate their audience on image and career. Gulf Times has appreciated her work done with Qatar Airways and Indian Women’s Association of Doha. Benaisha also made her presence felt on India’s first image management TV show ‘Image Banani Hein’ on Zoom TV.

Benaisha helps her clients on colour, style, wardrobe editing, personal shopping and dressing for those tricky events like weddings, interviews and dating. She also advises fashion houses on creating delightful customer experiences, artistically sell fashion and luxury, and effortlessly convert walk-ins into shoppers. Corporate Clients like BMW, Qatar Airways, Deloitte, Jeena & Co, and many more count on Benaisha for transforming their executives to be their Brand Ambassadors with strong communication, personal image and influence skills. She is deeply interested in working with differently-abled children to inspire them to lead meaningful lives. She has also helped children who suffer from attention deficit disorder, hyperactivity, and down syndrome to regain their confidence and enhance their self-image.

Benaisha, an avid lover of books, travel, and fashion; lives in Mumbai, India.

Excerpts from the Session

You can also watch the entire session video here:

But, for those who like to read or keep a note of the expert’s opinion, we bring the entire excerpt of the session so that you don’t miss out on anything. Here are the points that were covered in the live session:

Expect the unexpected 

A lot of us always have expectations from others. Do you even thought what exactly are expectations? Why do you expect and how you can live your life without expectations? Read on to get the answers of all your questions.  

Why do we expect? 

• Often we tend to believe that the way we treat others will be the way we are treated in return. But unfortunately, this does not always happen.
• We feel it’s birthright to expect people to be the way we might hope they be.
• We feel that it is a way of life.

7 ways in which you can live your life without expectations. 

Become aware about expectations. 

The word “should” brings forth expectations. 

 By using this kind of word and vocabulary with ourselves, we not only strain our relationships with people but we definitely strain our relationships with ourselves. Our mental health is affected. It makes us more irritable, angry, while also making us want to expect more and more. So, let’s start to stop using the word ‘should’. 

1. Stop wanting to be right.

Our expectations make us feel misery because you believe we are right.

Example: you are disappointed because you expect your spouse to do the dishes without you asking. Because you think it’s a right thing for a caring spouse to do. 

1. Don’t expect people to be nice to you. Instead, be nice to yourself!

Not everyone shares the same experience as you and see the perceptions you see.

In order for you to attract love, you must first love yourself. 

1. Don’t compare yourself with others.

“Someone else can do it, so can I.”

This is very empowering, but at the same time it creates unnecessary self-expectations. You expect yourself to be able to do what everyone else can. You expect yourself to be as good as everyone else. 

“Why try to change your road, when you can change your shoes and walk better?” 

1. Focus on process goal instead of outcome goal.

There are two types of goals. One which focuses on the outcome and the other focuses on the process.

If you are a writer, outcome goals would be to finish your book or your blog post by a certain date. At that date you want to see the book for your blog post complete. It’s fine having outcome goals but people tend to attach expectations to the outcome goals. Process goals, on the other hand, would be like writing daily for at least an hour. There are more like habits which you develop over time. Process goals are less stressful because they aren’t based on your progress or your abilities. It’s based on your commitment. 

• Be open to changes and possibilities.

Never be fixated on the outcome, your plan, your goals, and etc. Anytime you are fixated on something, expectations are bound to be there. Because you limit yourself when you can’t live without something or someone.

• Allow others to manage their expectations of you.

Parents expect you to be a doctor, lawyer, or accountant.

Yah partner expects you to spend time together.

Your children expect you to be there for all their soccer matches for dance rehearsals.

Most of us may have gotten our expectations from someone else. We are pressured to do something because someone else wants us to do it. But most of the time, we do have a choice. 

Don’t let other people’s expectations of you become your expectations. 

Footnote

Remove expectations from people, and they will remove their power to hurt your feelings. Keep the above mentioned rules in mind always to make your way through expectations and giving into others expectations, in order to experience empowerment in it’s true sense. 

You can also watch the entire session video here:

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